I lick my cheese

Flatmates............ who'd have em?

Unfortunately I have to!!

Yet again I'm faced with the daunting task of trying to find someone suitable to live with. I mean how hard could it be to find someone normal! Turns out, from my past experiences very hard indeed.

I'm just going to give you a quick recap on a few of my previous flatmates, of which the total number comes to 32, most of which were normal but a few of which should have be put in a plastic bag at birth and thrown over a bridge. Is 32 a high number? I wonder what the average is? I truly believe that I am the human equivalent of fly paper for freaks, and judging on my past house sharing record, there's evidence to prove it.

I once lived with a guy who thought it was OK to walk around naked, a girl who bought plastic cutlery and paper plates so she didn't have to wash up and a farm boy who lost his personality in a tragic tractor accident. There was also one incident where I woke up in my own bed to find my male flatmate watching me as I slept!! Needless to say he was kicked out of the house the very next day **shudder**

But anyway back to my current dilemma...........
Its very hard to figure someone out in the whole ten minutes of a room viewing. Most nutters do a good job of hiding the crazy for the initial introductions, Ive found it usually takes a fortnight or more for the veil to slip and let the crazy start to slip out. So what to do??

I wish there was a handy little device you could buy in the hardware store to detect freaks, like the little breath tester that tells you if you can drive. **knock knock** Hi very nice to met you, before I show you around the house, could you blow into this device please ...........**beep beep** Oh I'm very sorry sir, your results show that your a closet cross dresser,and you spend your spare time stalking your ex-girlfriends mother.